5. Soccer is like pinto beans, it's cheap, simple, easy. available, and the poorest of the poor can play it
Part of the reason soccer is the most popular sport in the world is because even the poorest of the poor can roll some hay together, create a goal, find an open field, and play soccer. In America, the most popular sports are the ones that are the most expensive and complex not the cheapest and simplest. Take a look at the Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts. The best football team in the world right now. Including the head coach there are SEVENTEEN COACHES to help along the championship run. This tells me one thing, the game is so intricate, so well-planned, so competitive, so expensive, and so complex that SEVENTEEN COACHES are needed. Let's take at one of the most popular teams in soccer history, Manchester United, you'll see they have ONE COACH. ONE....The game is too simple, too cheap, too easy, and just because it's the most popular doesn't make it the best. Do you think people eat pinto beans because they're great? No, it's because you can get four pounds of pinto beans for 30 cents. Prime rib however, the expensive, grand, beautifully made, and elegant dish costs money, isn't the most popular, and it's standards are just higher.
4. The United States is the most diverse country in the world, but the less American you are the less we care
This isn't a racist statement by the way. It's just how Americans are. Typically, Americans don't care what color a person's skin is so long as they're as American as they come. I look around my workplace and see people with German, Indian, African, Irish, Mexican, Vietnamese, and bi-racial roots. The best part is that we all speak English, we all went to American schools, and we all had a similar American upbringing with a few differences and it's great. On the other hand, there is a guy from Prague that works in a different department and the cultural values and non-verbal signs just don't come across the same way so unfortunately he spends a lot of time by himself. We're not shunning him, he's not shunning himself, the differences are just too wide to TRULY get along. Same goes with soccer. You can't convince Americans that Sergio Jose Maria Sanchez De La Cruz is going to be a popular American soccer star. When they get on the microphone he will most likely, and rightfully so, struggle with English and part of the reason we love our stars, especially in football, is because they're as American as they come. They usually played for American high schools, all play for American colleges, and play for American teams, none of which are in Canada like other three leagues. Apple pie's got NOTHING on American football.
3. Our best athletes don't play the sport
In Mexico, Brazil, England, and many other countries kids play soccer from a very early age and since it's their most popular sport the best athletes are going to play it. Not so in the U.S. Our best players play football or basketball and nothing else. Since both of those sports are so complex and intricate there is no time for any other sport anyway. Football season for a quarterback can take up 12 months out of the year learning the playbook, getting in touch with their receivers, talking to coaches, media, fans, etc. Basketball players can have a life filled with going straight from the gym, to class, to their AAU team, to college practice, and to the NBA...no time for soccer. We're America people, we've got options and soccer is not part of the equation. You can't earn that much money in the MLS and it's the lowest profile meaning lesser endorsements. But trust me, if Americans did play soccer, we would kick the hell out of any team in the world. Don't let 6 foot 8 inch 240 pound LeBron James get out there and kick a ball. Instead our top scorer is this wimpy fart in the picture to the right.
2. It's boring...
America lives in the now, the rest of the country lives in the "used to be." It's not all their fault, the history of some countries, like Iran, is all they have to work on because it's one of their only sources of pride (So maybe Jesus did walk by your house 2,000 years ago, I've got an iPHONE!) Basically, Americans want to see things that move fast, they're now, they're hip, and they're exciting. We don't to be wooed by the game within the game. Spare me, better yet, wake me up when the 0-0 game at the end of 90 minutes is over.
1. To be honest, soccer players are damn sissies
America is one of the hardest working countries in the world. We take the least vacations, we work the longest hours, we produce things literally overnight and we pay for it with our mental and physical health. We come in when we're sick, our moms come back from maternity leave after just a couple months, we take long commutes, and hold onto our sick days for when we feel better and not when we're actually sick because there are so few fo them. We want the same out of our professional athletes. We want them to nut up and get back in the game even when they don't feel well, hell, we do. Soccer players are a different breed. They get tackled and they act as if a bomb went off inside of them. They flop on the ground, in unbelievable pain, and then trot up and shake it off. Our football players, it's estimated, get into about 1,000 mini car crashes throughout their career. NBA players are totally exposed when they play with NO padding and survive an 82 game season. Soccer players are just differen and David Beckham's ankle, and his wimpy ass voice, should be further proof.
No comments:
Post a Comment