That's Right, More Reasons Why I Love Sports

16. Camraderie
I remember it clearly. It was December of 1997 when I was a Freshman in high school and we were playing Buckeye High School in far south east Phoenix. Let me fill you in about the southwestern U.S. There are very few big cities and many of them like Phoenix, Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas, and Tucson are all at least 100 miles apart. The furthest is probably Tucson to Los Angeles which is about a 7 hour drive. This means basically that big cities take up about 10% of the west and rural parts take up the other 90%. The rural parts, frankly, are scarier than shit. Picture where Forrest Gump grew up and just take away grass, charm, and hisotry, and add sunburns, overalls, and bad attitudes you've got the rural southwest. Buckeye is no different. And they sure as hell didn't like us "city-folk" beating the crap out of their team. So of course a few of their players started knocking us around and we, being city-folk, didn't wanna take "nothin' from none of those punk ass marks!" (we still believed we were Compton gangsters because we lived near L.A.). They didn't like that at all and started almost really beating the crap out of us, I mean the WHOLE TOWN. I learned three things that day that 1. We weren't Compton gansgters, 2. I didn't know how to fight, and 3. Sports can make even the strangest of outsiders stick together for one cause. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that and being a part of the team can sometimes mean more than winning.

17. Talk Radio
In college I used to be "that guy" that called into sports radio shows to tell them my point of view. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't argue with the hosts or anything, I was usually on par with what they were saying, but I called in at least 12 times my last semeseter of college. I finally quit that when I got a real job and they said they were going to fire me if I misused the telephones here. That didn't stop me from listening to ESPN Radio virtually everyday especially The Herd. I think sports radio can provide that filler in between games and it's kind of like one big forum for sports nuts to either agree or disagree with the host and other callers and much of the time they dive more into just what happened in the first quarter, they talk about issues that sports affect socially which drives interest. You all know you have it somewhere on your pre-set if you're a sports nut. Just fight the urge to call in and say "Bill Cowher is a BUM!"

18. Boxing
Boxing today is a complete joke. Judging by the "So You Think You Can Dance" audition known as the De la Hoya/Mayweather bout boxing can't even have its best fight be exciting. I understand that boxing is actually kind of an art form, but I've never actually boxed so I want to see people kick the crap out of each other, not prance around like forest lillies. But at the same time, can you think of a sport that requires more physical and mental toughness, training, expertise, talent, stamina, and of course the ever needed "balls?" I can't. The De la Hoya/Mayweather fight lasted 12 rounds, 3 minutes apiece I believe. It SEEMS feasible, but that same night I tried boxing my friends and each of us lasted about two rounds each for two minutes......with a 30 second break after the first minute.......two of us puked because we were winded and one of my friends had to have his girlfriend pick him up because he almost passed out after getting knocked silly. I don't think most people would even be qualified to hand most boxers water no less fight a man's sport. Boxing is truly mano a mano and nothing less.

19. Championships
It doesn't matter if you were a part of it or if your team was. There is NOTHING better than a championship in sports. The best part is, it DOESN'T get old EVER. I remember distinctly two championships in my life. The 2001 World Series (I'm still waiting for my DVD from Blockbuster Online so I can re-live it) and the 1997 Arizona Wildcats National Championship. Although I'm not a big UA fan my wife and her entirely family are from Tucson and she let me know that the entire city of about 600,000 people went completely ape-shit. Tucson, let me tell you, won't go ape-shit even if Godzilla went tearing down Speedway Avenue because those "damn youngsters might steal their purse if they go outside." That's what championships can do to people. John McCain once wrote in an article one time what was the one defining moment that brought the great state of Arizona together. He said the 2001 World Series without question. The entire STATE erupted into joy to see a championship come here. All of those whose teams have won a championship or have won one yourself (1999 Glendale Parks and Rec 3 on 3 B-ball Tournament Champions Baby!) you know the feeling. Here are a few memorable ones from the 1990s on......
The 2004 Boston Red Sox
The 2005 Chicago White Sox
The 1998 Tennessee Volunteers
The 2004 USC Trojans
The 1994 and 1995 Houston Rockets
The 2000 Los Angeles Lakers
The 2002 Ohio State Buckeyes
The Chicago Bulls Dynasty
The 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers
The Patriots Dynasty
The 1993 Dallas Cowboys
The 1993 Toronto Blue Jays
There are plenty more, but this is to just get the ball rolling in case you're a fan of any of these teams. Championships are just BEAUTIFUL!

20. Kobe Bryant
I don't know if I could make it more clear that there is a short list of athletes that I would go out of my way to push in front of a moving car. Kobe Bryant is at the top of my list. He plays for a franchise I hate, for an arena I hate, has a number I hate, and I hate the way he breathes too. Let's just say I hate the guy. But the only reason I hate him is because he's so great. Despite Kobe's attitude and off the court problems I think the last player I saw that could do the things he did was MJ. Kobe is SO good that in the 4 times in his career he has played against my Suns in the playoffs he has managed to light us up like a Christmas tree. There's shots that he will pull from his ass that I think before they go in "Pfff, there's no way he can hit that sho....damn it!" It would literally take a SWAT team to keep him from getting a shot off and even they would have to resort to tear gas. He's strong, fast, a good defender, committed, passionate, intense, a terrific three point shooter, a good free throw shooter, and is undeniably more athletic than 99% of the guys in the league. If he were a Suns player I would rush to get my 24 uniform as we speak. But until that day, I'll just admire from afar.

21. Steve Nash
I couldn't follow up with a love fest of Kobe without talking about my main main, Steve Nash. Steve is probably one of the truest definitions of an MVP I've ever seen play. Granted, most people don't get to watch his games because if he's playing Sacramento on a Wednesday night are you really going to stay up that late to watch him if you're in Atlanta? Probably not, but that's part of his appeal. He's not flashy. He doesn't dunk. He doesn't play great defense. But I would pay him a billion dollars just to keep playing for my enjoyment. If you don't understand why he's the MVP then you just don't understand basketball. Let's look at it this way, basketball teams are like millionaires. Every one of them has Ferrari (a great scorer who always finds the hoop), good stock options (a great defender), a solid savings account (a great bench), and a money manager (a head coach), but millionaires desire something more. They desire that handcrafted African piece of art no one else has. They want that one football jersey that was signed by Jim Thorpe. They want that priceless item that is the most valuable of possesions. It may not bling like Kobe, give you returns like Ben Wallace, or buy your way out of trouble like the Spurs bench, but it stands out from the rest because it enhances every other item you own. Steve Nash is that rare piece of African art that is simply priceless.

Baseball Schmaseball

First off, I know that posting a million links in my posts can be annoying, but they just add to what I'm talking about. Not everyone that comes on here is going to be a sports fan and I don't want to confuse them. The blogosphere is so crowded with crap, yes, including mine, that I want to be sure that people have some background before they start reading. Anyway, I just saw this story on ESPN showing that Pacman Jones is going to be joining TNA, one of the wrestling organizations here in the U.S. This guy is a bigger idiot than I ever could have imagined. It's not technically wrestling, it's just soft-core porn (I mean, dudes in tights?) and for a guy that makes really bad decisions this is actually right in line with his thinking. Aside from that, he stated that he wanted to do something that would "keep him off the streets and out of trouble." I've got news for him, the world of wrestling is more depraved than any other sporting event. There are girls, drugs, steroids, and everyone looks like a cartoon, and that's what the fans pay to see. More wrestlers have died from narcotic or steroid related deaths than any other professional sport and for someone that enjoys the over-the-top lifestyle he should have kept wrestling off his radar. Oh well, keep an eye out on the obituaries now for him.

Anyway, why I'm writing this article is for two reasons 1. To avoid editing my thesis and 2. To comment on this all of a sudden love affair with Major League Baseball. On ESPN.com they were saying how baseball was having a really "great weekend" because of A-Rod, Barry Bonds, and Tom Glavine's 300th win. PLUS, on a personal level the Arizona Diamondbacks just swept the Dodgers giving them a full game and a half lead in the NL West. Here's the problem. I still REALLY don't care. It is midly interesting? Yes, these guys are Hall of Fame legends despite their troubles and the milestones are absolutely incredible. The saddest part is that as a major sports fanatic I still care more about how my grass is growing in my back yard than any of these things. This signals a couple of very obvious things to me about Major League Baseball in addition to the problems I posted earlier:

1. Younger fans can't bring themselves to care
Although my extent of being in the media involved working at the school radio station when I was in the 8th grade I still learned a thing or two about demographics. Most of that came from a guy who worked at 99.9 KEZ here in Phoenix who I believed was sleeping with one of our teachers in the student council. He let us know that attacking demographics basically between 19 and 50 years old is key for several reasons. The first is because the younger part of the demographics may not have a lot of money, but they've got a lot of money to WASTE which is key and the older part of the demographics doesn't have a lot of money to waste, they've just got a lot of money, which is a good thing for advertisers. Baseball, who is in desperate need of fans who are 50 years or younger, simply can't bring us in with these milestones that are just clouded in controversy. Personally, Barry Bonds could have hit his 12,000th home run and I would still watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition before that at bat.

2. Roids, roids, roids, roids, roids, roids, roids, roids, roidy roid roid roid rooooids, ROIDS, CHARGE!....or something like that
I'll admit that the steroids in Major League Baseball is not exactly a total out rage. This is for two reasons. 1. Steroids are more pervasive than people would have ever imagined, especially the older fans, so to many of us younger people, we're not exactly surprised. I think we were more surprised at the coverage it received. I knew at least 6 guys on my high school football team and at least 10 others on teams we played my senior year that were on the juice. Hell, I know a guy who is on them NOW. But older fans aren't usually aware of that so it WAS an outrage to them. The second reason is because I JUST DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO BE OUTRAGED. If there was a major steroid probe in the NFL I would be terribly saddened on the other hand. I know guys are on the juice in the NFL, but with the checks in place and the penalties put forth I'm confident the cheaters are being caught as much as they can. Major League Baseball has that now, but it's just too late to make up for any issues in the past. With all of that aside, I have to admit that the more I listen to people in the sports world the more they're saying things like they actually are "rooting for Barry Bonds to get this home run chase over with." That's where I begin to have a problem. Just because we haven't had any books published this year about steroids, just because it seems like it's old news, and just because this is just a great record does NOT mean that steroids have all of a sudden become mostly excusable. I think too many people are just fed up that they actually haven't caught any big name cheaters so they're tired of speculating, but to treat it as no big deal I think is a mistake. It's one of the reasons that I won't go back to baseball with all of my love, and as a guy with money to spend on sports, all of my love is good for their bottom line. Does baseball still have a place in my heart, of course it does, but I won't buy jerseys, I attend maybe one game a year, and I hardly watch on TV. As far as the NFL goes, I have season tickets, 8 jerseys, am considering NFL Sunday Ticket, watch all the games on Sunday, and have bought my kids a ton of merchandise. To prove this, look at the revenues of each league. For MLB, their revenue in 2006 was $4,733, 000,000 For the NFL..., it was over 6 billion dollars. For the NFL, it just makes cents.

3. Football is starting
I'm not going to lie, August is owned by football at the college and pro level. I couldn't tell you when the next game is in ALL of MLB, but I can tell you that at 5 pm PDT, The Colts play the Cowboys on FOX. Right now, I don't care about anything else. I don't care about cycling, hockey, basketball, or baseball right now. This is because football is starting. I'm even considering getting Arizona State football season tickets on top of my Cardinals, just so I can be guaranteed some football every weekend. I can't say the same for baseball. D-Backs tickets are about 15 bucks, but I REFUSE to spend my hard earned money on them. Cardinals tickets are 25 bucks apiece and I think it's a STEAL! The worst part is that the Diamondbacks play big time rivals like the Dodgers and Padres for the division title and the Sun Devils are scheduling schools like Pomona Junior College and I'm already in line to get my ticket. Let's go MLB, convince me I should care. Right now, I'm going to watch NFL Live on my DVR and skip the next baseball game.


one last thing, check out espn.com and look for the story called "Bottom's Up" It's about southern, east and west, dominance in college sports. I JUST posted on my blog, it's called "East Coast Influence Fading, Southern Influence Gaining" and its about how warm weather schools are beginning to change the landscape of college football. 19 year old kids. Check it out!

Academics and College Football, a match made in Hell

The new pre-season poll came out for college football and a few things jumped out at me right away aside from the obvious fact that USC is one of the best college football programs ever.

1. College football preseason rankings are a very stupid idea
Although they get us talking we have to really wonder how much good are they? The teams in the bottom half of the list are probably going to be out of the ranking in the first three weeks. Besides, how can you rank teams you've never seen play? These teams schedule cream puffs the first four games to pad their win/loss record so much so that it would make Tim Donaghy question their integrity. For example, in 2006, Florida, the national champion, was ranked #8, plus Iowa, Oregon, Tennesse, Penn State, and Alabama all falling out of the top 25 at the end of the season. By the way, Oregon State, Hawai'i, Brigham Young, and Boston College all found their way into the top 25. Football is just one of those sports that has to be decided on the field. The best these pre-season rankings do is stir up discussion from nerds who post onto their daily blog and eat Cheetos. I, on the other hand, am eating Flaming Hot Cheetos so I can't be lumped into that category.

2. The Pac-10 should be called the Whack-10
Never have I seen a more ridiculously storied conference do so poorly depsite being ranked so high every year. With the exception of USC, no other Pac-10 program has a shot at finishing in the top 15. Looking at last year's final poll I saw that only USC finished even in the top 20!! There's an easy explanation for this too. Most schools that are west of Colorado like all the Pac-10 schools reside are so unbelievably hippie that nobody can really takes sports that seriously. You can't blame the pac-10 entirely though. Look at the cities these schools are in....Los Angeles (too cool to even say the word cool), Eugene Oregon (hippie central), Seattle (I'm too sophisticated for football), Berkeley, California (football? I've got a protest to go to), Stanford, California (screw football, I'm going to be a Senator), Tucson (speed limits don't exceed 15 MPH), and Tempe (I think I'll cut my lunch break to four hours today). I have a special hatred for Tempe because I work just outside of there and I'm telling you that the number of jobless used-to-be college students is astonishing. I've never seen a Target be so crowded at 11:30 on a Wednesday. Anyway, football doesn't take precedence at these schools like it does in other places. I also blame it on the fact that the Pac-10 teams are placed in very big cities with lot more going on than football (Seattle, Los Angeles, Tempe, and Berkley (Bay area)). I've been to the bay area, Los Angeles, and live near Tempe and let me tell you, college football is like #5 on the list of fun things to do. Aside from that, as soon as these Pac-10 schools unchain themselves from the tree they're trying to save they'll have competitive football teams.

3. "Me no like skool, me like foosball."-Mongo
What I'm getting at here is that the best football powers typically have the worst academic standards. This isn't to say that football players are dumb. In fact 100% of the players in the NFL have at least three years of college experience with many of which having stayed to obtain their degree. This is in addition to all of the head coaches and assistants having their Bachelor's and/or Master's degrees as well because of the requirements to coach college football which is the stepping stone to the NFL. With that said, some of the top football schools have some of the most lax academic standards and there are several reasons why. The first reason is because anybody can recruit smart offensive players. The players that score the highest on the Wonderlic test at the NFL combine go in this order 1. Offensive Tackle, 2. Quarterback, 3. Offensive Gaurd, 4. Running Back. All offensive players. Recruiting good defensive players into college is more challenging. This tells me that defensive players are just dumber. It's difficult to convince a smart person to tackle someone that may have 4 inches and 30 pounds on them and enjoy it. Plus, defense has always won championships. It's an unusual situation that appears to college football programs. They need certain academic standards, but they also need "Mongo to run through a wall for them." If you look at each of the conferences and who is typically at the top take a look at their academic standards and their standards for admission. Stanford in the Pac-10, horrible program, great academics. Ohio State in the Big 10, great program, you could get in having done your SAT in crayon. The fate for Stanford goes the same for Vanderbilt, Northwestern, Duke, and Notre Dame. This reminds me of a Simpsons episode where Ned Flanders says "Heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State!." Just thought of that.....

All that aside, I love college football and right now the Sun Devils are at training camp preparing for another mediocre year in a terrible conference. A-S-U! A-S-U!

More Reasons Why I Love Sports

11. Michael Jordan

I feel like a dumbass for never actually affording myself the opportunity to see this guy play. Here's a small story. When I was twelve years old, after Michael had retired from basketball, he was playing briefly for a minor league team, the Scottsdale Scorpions, in 1994. A friend of mine said that his dad received tickets to a game of theirs and Michael Jordan would be there and he offered them to me because they couldn't make it. I didn't go. I don't even remember why, but hey, I was twelve, I was an idiot. I've never seen Michael Jordan play live ever, even after he came back. I can't say all is lost though, I did see this guy play on television 100s of times and when I watch old tapes now I can see how fantastic he actually was. The guy was a true leader, a butt-hole at times, but he still just commanded the attention of every eye in the arena, no matter where he went. He was one of the first superstars that literally transcended the game. He was Michael Jordan, in fact, I believe his name is a trade mark now. LeBron and Kobe are big, but they're no Michael. I mean, his SHOE still is one of the highest selling and he hasn't played in a couple of years!! You don't see Charles Barkley's shoes selling do you? No. MJ made sports fun and I really do miss watching him play.

12. Fresh cut grass during football season

It may be a simple pleasure, but I'll never forget the first day of training camp for the new football season in high school and I'm sure you remember it too. The sun's beating down on your back, you're in practice uniforms that don't reek like dead raccoons, and the grass, (sniiiiiffffff), the grass is so freshly cut the groundskeeper is barely getting off the field. You know that the grass is a sign of a new season. It hasn't been ruined by cleats, blood, sweat, rains, and cold weather. It's green, it's lush, and it's ready to be trampled. It represents starting over.

13. Rivalries

There's not enough bandwith on the internet to get into how much I love rivalries in sports. Even after a MISERABLE season you may actually, as a player, be looking forward to that big game against the team you hate the most. For fans it works the same way. You can see your team suffer horribly all season, but when it comes time to face those "motherf******s from Boston" it can really make the season worth it. Conversely, it can ruin a GREAT season. Just ask the Michigan Wolverines if their high win percentage over the last five years means much despite being owned by Jim Tressel, AKA Sweater Vest. Another example is Harvard and Yale, two of the worst programs in college football, yet when they get play, you have alumni ripping off rolexes and throwing their glasses of chardonnay on each other because it's so heated. Even if you're not a fan of either team the rivalries can be so interesting it draws you to the TV. Michigan/Ohio State in 2006 was the one rivalry game that I couldn't miss. You had a #1 and #2 match up. Two teams that hated each other. Two historic programs. Each team in search of a national championship. It was perfect. True rivalries are undeniable too. Sometimes you have a team that thinks the other team is their rival (like the St. Louis Cardinals thinking the Cubs are their rivals) which makes it only meaningful on one side, but true rivalries don't need to be played up in the media, they do it themselves. The best rivalries stand the test of time also. The best aren't short lived. Here are some of the best that I could come up with:

Yankees/Red Sox

Michigan/Ohio State

Dodgers/Giants

Patriots/Colts

Bears/Packers

Clemson/South Carolina

Broncos/Raiders

Alabama/Auburn

Arizona/Arizona State

Oklahoma/Texas

I know there's a ton more, but these ones are the battles I've got no problem skipping church for. Let me correct myself, I don't actually go to church so technically I'll skip church to stare at the ceiling, but either way I get excited just thinking of these rivalries!

14. Winning

This of course goes for the fan or the athlete themselves. Winning is like a magical elixir that can cure any bad blood between teammates, years of losing, bad trades, and draft pick busts. Everything is just BETTER. In some sports winning is at more of a premium than others. This is mostly true for football. As a player and a fan there is nothing worse than a crushing defeat and then having to wait a WHOLE WEEK to get back at another team. You don't get second chances in football very often. Sometimes you have to wait a year to play some teams you lost against and that will eat at you like nothing else. Football is such a mental sport and dealing with losing actually shows the mark of a true winner. Just sit back and think about all of the times your team in any sport came from behind and won, beat a team that was heaviliy favored, won a rivalry game, won a championship game, clinched a series, won at the buzzer, or blew out a team. Feels good doesn't it?

15. Losing

You'd be surprised that losing is one of the great things about sports. Losing helps teams figure out who they really are. It allows teams to re-evaluate their stance, change up their philosophy, personnel, and in some cases even ownership. Losing is also great for the sports section. I remember after each big loss by a team I hated I would go to that city's website and read the responses from fans. You can just FEEL the heart break and when the other team loses it makes everything feel that much better. You also get to see the pure emotion that is involved with defeats. Another thing losing does is makes many more fans and athletes actually MORE committed. Think about the big shot that was hit against your team, whey your team was blown out of the water, acted as if they didn't show up to the game, were out coached, were out hustled, were physically dominated, or lost to a team they should have beaten. It makes us all reasses what needs to be done and the only way to get better is through making mistsakes.

6 Reasons the NBA is Killing Me

The NBA has been killing me lately. Not for the same reasons as some people might say though. Yes, they're overpaid babies (Shawn Marion, I'm talking directly to YOU) and yes, there are a few people that have helped to ruin the reputation of the league (Mr. Iverson, you have the right to remain silent). However, those are the least of the league's problems. A reputation for a league can be changed over the course of one season, but the NBA's problems are more deep seeded. Here are the reasons that are the most relevant and why my heart has been breaking.

1. The season is damn LONG!
82 God-forsaken games plus the pre-season. That's how long an NBA season is. Even for the most die-hard fan you understand that at least 20 of those 82 games are completely meaningless especially if your team is at the top or the bottom of the league. Another 40 of those games MIGHT be competitive, but only about 20 games out of the year are truly exciting to watch. These games usually come against big rivals, a game you attended yourself (which is always more exciting), or, if you're team is in any good or battling for a playoff spot, those games matter the most. But twenty games out 82 is not going to keep me around for long

2. The playoffs are too damn LONG!
I just read a story from the National Public Radio website that focused on how the playoffs have become so long and drawn out that even the most ardent fans are becoming tired with the length. For example, go to this website to find out how long the playoffs were for the World Champion (gag me) San Antonio Spurs. Keep in mind this is the best team in the NBA so it's not a mistake to follow them if you're interested in basketball. Their first game was April 22nd against the Denver Nuggets and ended their run against the Cavs on June 14th!! That's nearly two months of EXTRA basketball. Cut the season short NBA. I've got silly things to do in early June like go on vacation, spend time with my kids, work on the house, work out, and go see summer movies. Give me a break NBA, shorten the regular season, make it more competitive, and I guarantee I'll find time to bring basketball into my precious time.

3. Eastern Conference basketball is a complete joke
I remember I was watching Game 3 between the Cleveland Cavs and the New Jersey Nets one day after work and despite the fact this was a "playoff" game, I actually fell asleep. For the first time in my life I was so incredibly bored by their style of play I passed out on the couch. I'm an admitted Suns fan so I'm used to play that is up-tempo, west coast, run up the score type basketball, but I also played basketball throughout my entire life even in high school so I can appreciate the half-court game. But this was just worse than bad. I remember a rebound came down to Vince Carter and I immediately expected him to start pushing the ball up the court. Apparently I was WAY off base with how basketball should be played. He casually walked the ball up the court, fed it to Kidd, set a screen, jumped out to the three point line, Kidd passed him the ball, and Carter clanged it off the rim. If this had happened once or twice during the game I wouldn't be mad, but this happened at least 50 different times for both teams. Even eastern seaboard residents can't stand to watch the games. I really feel bad for them because they're stuck watching Celtics/Sixers in early January and when really fun games like Suns/Mavericks are happening at 10:00 or 10:30 at night. I've got a family and that is entirely too late for me to START watching the game so where the most eyes are (and where the biggest media markets are as well) has grown to care the least about basketball understandably. Houston......better yet, New York, we've got a problem.

4. All of the greats were shuffled into one specific era
There was about a ten year period in the NBA where they could absolutely do no wrong. It was a time where ESPN wasn't as big as it was now, there weren't jerks who posted a daily blog about the NBA (those jerks), cable was still relatively new, and many sports writers weren't nearly as ubiquitous on television, radio, and the internet to post their opinions and observations. This was all combined with the fact that some of the game's BEST players were drafted during that time and reaped almost immediate success. Let me give you a quick run down of some of the star players that were drafted from 1984 until 1992 Jordan (greatest ever), Barkley (Top 50), Hakeem Olajuwon (Top 50), Alvin Robertson, Stockton (assist leader), Jerome Kersey, Patrick Ewing (future HOFer), Chris Mullin, Karl Malone (second all time scorer), Brad Daugherty, Mark Price (purest shooter game has seen), Arvydas Sabonis (could do it ALL), Drazen Petrovic, David Robinson (never seen a seven footer like him), Pippen (one of the greatest), Kevin Johnson, Reggie Miller (didn't miss), Danny Manning, Pervis Ellison, Shawn Kemp (marketers dream), Gary Payton, Toni Kukoc, Dikembe Mutombo (defensive standout), Steve Smith, Shaq (legend), Alonzo Mourning, and Robert Horry (clutch). Not only does this list include some of the game's greatest players, including THE greatest player, it includes players that helped shape the game in some fashion or at some point were so popular that their jerseys were literally flying off of the racks (like Shawn Kemp). The NBA enjoyed its greatest times in a very short span. They couldn't have been more popular in the 1980s and 1990s. I loved them, you loved them, heck, THEY even said "I love this game!" as one of their marketing campaigns. Most of the guys will or should end up in the Hall of Fame and I didn't even get through most of the players. These guys were stand up guys, stayed away from the hip-hop scene largely, stayed off the police blotter, and played the game with a fierce intensity, especially Jordan. Now, let's compare to some of the more recent drafts. Most of these guys are high schoolers or foreign players that amounted to nothing. All of the players on this list are either top 10 picks or supposed All-Stars. Take a gander: Shawn Bradley (bust), Nick Van Exel (average), Glenn Robinson (top pick, average), Juwan Howard (under achieving, injury prone), Eddie Jones, Joe Smith (bust), Antonio McDyess (athletic bust), Stephon Marbury (ball hog), Antoine Walker (lazy), Keith Van Horn (not in the league), Danny Fortson (who now?), Raef LaFrentz (overpaid), Robert Traylor (in jail), Steve Francis (bust), Ron Artest (nut job), Stromile Swift (bust with stupid name), Darius Miles (bench is his second home), Kwame Brown (my Suns embarrassed him), and Dajuan Wagner (out of the league). Of course in each draft you're going to have stars, but if all of your top picks and all-stars are average at best, your league is in trouble.

5. Defense wins championships, but not ratings
I'll wholeheartedly admit that good defensive teams have historically dominated the NBA. Even if the team doesn't finish with the best record they shine like diamonds in the playoffs. They control the boards, keep the score low, and frustrate even the most high-powered offenses. That's great. Now as soon as I wake up I'll catch some of the highlights on SportsCenter. In fact, I wonder how SportsCenter decides which clips to air. I feel bad for the person that's responsible for finding something interesting in a Spurs game. On a scale of 1 to 10 the Spurs, the best defensive team in the league, register a 50 on the Dull-o-Meter. I personally cannot stand defensive struggles and frankly I feel that it's hurting the game. People, even die-hards, aren't really interested in watching two teams square off in good old-fashioned basketball. We want scoring. Not fantastic dunks, just scoring. I have always said that in basketball, any idiot can play defense, but offense is where real basketball skill checks in. Do you think they paid Rodman the same they paid Pippen? They were both great defenders, but Pippen had a jump shot which made him more important to the team and a higher paid. Jordan was a good defensive player, he even won defensive POY one year, but the fact that he scored 30 points a game in the playoffs made him the thing of legends. The NBA might seriously need to consider rule changes to allow teams to run the ball more frequently. Either by shortening the shot clock or the time it takes to get the ball across half court could dramatically improve today's slow placed, old-fart game.

6. Big city, bright lights, and a crappy basketball team
Living in Phoenix I've grown accustomed to people having misconceptions about my city. People think it's still a dusty southwestern town when in reality it's the fifth biggest city in the country, it's one of the leaders in the biotech industries, software (Google and Intel have operations here), health care, has four professional teams, the biggest university in the U.S., a ton of things to do including the phenomenon known as Waveyard in two years, and is continually growing as a strong base on Wall Street. Phoenix is definitely no longer a dusty town, but in the sports world, it might as well be Kenosha, Wisconsin and since players can live in relative obscurity in Phoenix it can become difficult for the NBA to attract fans to the team. Basically, big time cities need big time teams. I'm talking New York, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, and Boston mostly. The biggest problem is each of those teams failed to make the playoffs and finished a combined 134-194. That's a ton of bad basketball for teams that crap out more history than other teams can get in ten years. These are the NBA's cornerstone franchises and if they don't make the playoffs, there had better be SOMETHING keeping people. Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, if there isn't a team nearby, you must root for the closest one. New York, L.A., Philly, and Boston due to their success as franchises and the grandeur of their cities ended up creating lifelong fans in their surrounding areas long before teams like the Grizzlies or the Bobcats came around. Once these teams are competitive, old rivalries can be renewed, old footage can brought out, the legends can talk about the history of the teams, and the media loves to come to these cities and so do celebrities (well, except Philly).

East Coast Influence Fading, Southern Influence Gaining

As you all may know I grew up out west in Phoenix. Although we are now officially the fifth biggest city in the country we're still situated at least 4 hours driving from Vegas and 5 hours driving from Los Angeles meaning we're basically in the middle of nowhere. Being in this aforementioned nowhere makes it difficult for your teams and your city to get any specific type of notoriety or respect from those on the East Coast (especially the northeast) where the center of sports reside including the Baseball and Basketball Halls of Fame. I used to complain that there was a major East Coast bias hanging over the heads of sports that resided west of Denver which basically looking back was a weak way to excuse western teams from sucking total balls. I've put more thought into it recently and realized that the bias isn't really relevant and have listed reasons why playing out west is better for athletes.

Playing in New York, Philly, or Boston leaves most players wanting to kill fans when their career is over
66% of America's population leaves on the eastern part of the country. This is obviously explained through European settling throughout most of the eastern seaboard and many of those people spreading toward the Midwest. This isn't a problem in itself. The problem lies in the fact that when you have so many people in more condensed areas, you've got more fans, more fans equal more coverage, and more coverage equals higher scrutiny. For the fans, that's great. For the player, it can begin to wear on them. Every mistake, every time they go to a club, every hit, dropped pass, touchdown, timeout, and travel is talked about until sports radio hosts are blue in the face. Out west, you don't have the same problem. Part of the reason is people simply just don't care enough about their teams out here to warrant four hours of discussion about why "Nomah Garciaparrah is a pussy!" We've got things to do out west. The sun shines 300 days out of the year so we go work on our yards, take our kids to the park, go play in a softball game, go for a jog, work on our cars, go to the beach (if you've got one), go hiking, go swimming, we just go do STUFF that doesn't involve watching sports on television (hence why this blog centers on more than just X's and O's). Northeasterners don't get out much so I have reason to believe their bodies are missing the hormone that urges them to go do stuff. It's a cold day in hell when Knicks basketball is more exciting than going outside.

In college sports, east coast bias is becoming less relevant and southern influence is becoming dominant
Recruiters for major college programs work very, very hard to make their campus, team, facilities, and traditions seem like their professional athlete card will be waiting inside their locker the first day of training camp. They give them a tour of the school, take them to a game, introduce them to some girls, and send them on their way. It's like a beautiful formula that allows schools to become legalized whores. The only difference is the time of year recruits come to the campus. Throughout the entire northern part of the country, including the western part, it's icier than the stare your friends give you when you beat them at Madden. Those schools have to bring their recruits up early in the fall so they don't have to chip them out of the snow like Lucy the cavewoman. Southern schools, from east to west, are completely able to bring recruits to their city any time of the year. Even in the Pac-10, a conference that stretches from near Canada to near Mexico, the teams in the lower portion of the conference are able to recruit southern California, a CRUCIAL area for recruiting, much easier because of the weather. Picture this, if you're a kid from San Diego who is going to play football and your choices are USC-sunny/SoCal, UCLA-sunny/SoCal, Cal-Bay Area/close to home, Arizona State-L.A. replica minus beaches/close to home, or Washington State-cold, far from home, long flight, unfamiliar area which schools might be in your running. Keep in mind that the powder blue wuss-jobs from UCLA are about as good as Washington State right now, but when you visit WAZU in August L.A. in February which one is going to stick out in your mind? The most recent and sunny one.

"Girls Girls Girls Girls Girls...."-Jay-Z
Let's face it. Girls in cold weather cities tend to be horribly ugly. It's not totally their fault. I went to college in a very cold weather Arizona city (snowed several feet a year) and often found it impossible to stay in shape. Now that I've moved back home to Phoenix I'm able to go for a jog virtually any time I want. And I'm a guy which means I'm allowed to carry some extra baggage, but the inability to hide behind large clothes florces me outside. Girls on the other hand, don't have the same luxury. Their pressure comes from girls who are crackhead thin and they think for some reason men are looking in their direction (newsflash, if you like really thin girls without curves then you officially fall into the "To Catch a Predator" territory in my mind). When it's cold as hell outside, you don't want to do anything. You want to grab some Jack in the Box, stay in, and watch The Family Guy until the weather passes. Plus, when you do go outside you have to wear long pants and sweatshirts, not exactly "come hither" attire. When it's sunny out, you have more of the urge to work out and stay fit and college girls are no different. At Arizona State, LSU, USC, Texas, Arizona, and San Diego State the women are BEAUTIFUL. There was in fact a website called palmwalk.com that showed girls walking down the palm-tree lined streets at Arizona State and you were able to judge how hot they were (needless to say they shut it down, ASU is lucky there's porn to turn to or else people would revolt). You don't see maizeandblue.com showing any hot girls simply because where it's cold the hot girls are not. You have corn-fed, plain, frumpy looking girls where it's cold and when you're a 19 year old basketball recruit, you've got two things on your mind, sex and basketba...sex. Hot girls can make a difference. The only way cold weather schools win out is the girls there have to "out-whore" everybody else, but hey, I'm not hating.

Let's talk about population...
It's undeniable that the population shifts have definitely headed out west due to what's called the "brain drain" (highly intelligent and employable individuals moving from where they grew up to other places). Looking at the census website I found that Phoenix, San Diego, and Las Vegas, three southwestern cities grew respective 33%, 10%, and 84% while three eastern cities Philadelphia, Chicago, and Boston grew -4.3%, 4%, and 2.6% respectively. This signals one thing, people are moving where it's warm. I have this theory that people visit San Diego, part in Las Vegas, and live in Phoenix while people are too mad in Philly, too loud in Chicago, and too hateful in Boston. As a pro or a college athlete the decision seems clear as to where you want to play if you have the choice. Places growing slowly or shrinking in size have little to offer athletes. Plus, many of the smart, successful people are taking control of their quality of life. This is because smart, successful people earn more money. Smart, successful people tend to be better looking. Smart, successful people have outside interests other than sports. This boils down to the fact smart, successful people will ultimately spend more on your team, you'll be surrounded by 10s at every club, you won't be grilled by the media with them asking what you had for lunch, and you can lead as much of a normal life as possible before retirement. Oh yeah, there's the whole sunny weather, no hurricane, tornado, or flood thing too that draws people. Give it 15 more years and the sports landscape will change. The powers in every sport (look at basketball folks) will shift west. Tell Sully, Rooney, and Mike their obsession with the Pats won't keep playahs around foreveah!!

Cha-Ching

Marketing for athletes has reached almost an absurd level to where there are some guys that are less athletes and more celebrities (Beckham, MJ, A-Rod, LeBron) than anyone else. I'm not upset by this, if someone offered me $1 million to tattoo Joe's Crab Shack on my forehead I would ask where to sign before he finished his sentence. Nonetheless, it's important for athletes to be in a situation where their income from outside of sports, something that can end with an injury, is significant enough for them to have a massive income. Part of this comes from playing in cities that allow for marketers to reach people more easily. 15 years ago that may have made a big difference, but now, with NBA League Pass, ESPN Full Court, MLB Extra Innings, ESPN, YouTube, MySpace, ESPN the Magazine, ESPN2, FSN, the NFL Network, NBATV, Field Pass, and our good old friend the internet in general athletes can get an incredible amount of exposure no matter WHERE they play. This can be significant for players if they have a choice between playing in Boston or Dallas. If an athlete doesn't have to deal with the same media, insane fans, scrutiny, criticism, or expectations, but can earn the same in endorsements and salary, he'll sign the contract so fast he'll burn a whole in the paper. For example, look at LeBron. He grew up in Akron, OH and plays for the hapless Cavaliers now without ever playing a minute of college ball and is one of the most marketed athletes in the world. Another example is Peyton Manning who plays in cold as hell Indianapolis, but we see his commercial with the fake mustache three times a day. This is all because the networks have found a way to bring the sports to you instead of the other way around meaning we can see a player like LeBron even if you've never been within 100 miles of Ohio. I can just hear LeBron saying, "Get my wheelbarrow so I can bring in this week's paycheck."

10,000 Reasons Why Sports Are Great

I'll admit first hand that Bill Simmons is one of the funniest writers I've ever read. He has his own column on ESPN's Page 2 and the stuff really is a great read. One of the articles he has is called "Why I Love Sports" which is a lot of fun to read and it got me thinking as to why I think sports are great my self. I realized that there are about 10,000 reasons....

1. After your children, your significant other, and your parents, your team is the most important thing in your life
The only thing that I wear more than my Cardinals jersey or Suns jersey is my wedding ring and my shoes for work. If it were socially acceptable I'd probably wear my Steve Nash jersey to a wedding.....again. But this time it won't be MY wedding. Anyway, we all follow our teams obsessively, have day dreams of playing along side them at some point in our lives, and spend a ton of money to see them in person, or in the case of NFL Sunday Ticket, to just actually SEE them. We even hold our allegiances to the teams above our friendships. My friend's dad has been convincing me for years to become a Laker fan, but despite 40 years of no championships for the Suns, I still refuse. It'd be great to root for the same team as your friend, but hey, screw the Lakers. You got to love it.

2. My Friends
I have to give kudos to my friends for being a part of my sports life. It has really added an important part to our friendship that always leaves us something to talk or argue about. I refuse to talk sports with most people because I have no reason to believe they have any idea what they're talking about, but my friends, just like yours, are the easiest to talk sports with. My friend Ted has a ton of insight into sports, but his value comes mostly from his connections with people. For some reason he ALWAYS gets great seats for free and he's willing to share with the rest of us. That's undeniably the best and I don't know if he understands how much it means to have great seats to a game and the fact that he's at the games to root the teams on makes it more fun. It's like being a girl and a friend gets you those pair of shoes that you just LOVE and with no strings attached, they just wanted to get it for you. That's cool. My friend Hugo is on the inside track with sports that you won't see on prime time. He's major interests are boxing and soccer. Although I've got my issues with soccer, I've always maintained that fans of soccer are some of the best people you'll meet. His national pride (he's from Mexico City) trumps everything else in sports and he's always keeping us up to date on boxing by letting us know the newest fighters, who sucks, who's great, and who's fighting next. Lastly, my best friend, and biggest sports nut I know beside myself, is Giovanni. He is a (puking) die-hard Lakers fan so him and I have had it out with one another on about four thousand different occasions. In fact, all of our favorite teams play against one another in the same division (meaning the Lakers, Dodgers, 49ers all play against my Arizona teams) and I have professed my hatred for those teams on more occasions than I can count. The best part about him is that there is nothing that I'll tell him he doesn't know already about sports or sports news so we can basically pick up where we left off every time. The only thing him and I need to work on is avoiding calling each other "gay" every time our point falls flat.

3. Video Games
I really wish that I had the time and attention span to play games like Harry Potter, Half-Life, and Halo. I'm also very thankful I'm not a gigantic nerd......let me rephrase, those who don't play sports games aren't nerds per-say.......who the hell am I kidding, they're DAMN nerds. I have some horrible memories from my sophomore year in college where my roommate was literally a local legend for his Halo skills. To become a legend, you've got to spend a TON of time playing a game which is fine if you live by yourself, but since I was actually interested in the opposite sex it was difficult to convince my future wife at the time to not leave me because she was afraid she would see me one day and I would have suspenders and a pocket protector. Anyway, for those of us who aren't obsessed with games that involve wielding magic swords video games have provided an outlet to basically fulfill our fantasies. The best part is the games don't get old either. Sure, RB #31 for Georgia rushing for 5,000 yards in 2005 is virtually impossible but on my video game he's a campus legend with four Heisman trophies and three national championships (I lost one on a last second bomb by Chris Leak, I finally convinced myself not to send him any more hate mail). The games have become so sophisticated and intricate that you can immerse yourself into thinking that you're a star player AND the owner of the team simultaneously. I was once a first basemen for the Diamondbacks in the video game world and hit 113 home runs 2004. The worst part is I was literally PROUD of what I had done and when I got closer to 74 home runs I started getting nervous and hit .238. Clicking buttons has never been more fun.

4. Sports Movies
Not all sports movies are created equal. In fact, some are just downright stupid. Movies like the "Gridiron Gang" and "Soccer Dog" need to have every DVD copy burned and money refunded to those who saw it in the theaters. There are some movies that really are just that good. Some of my favorite movies include "Friday Night Lights," "Invincible," "Above the Rim (we miss you Tupac)," and "The Program." Each of these movies went more than just into sports and were mostly unpredictable unlike the movie "Miracle" which by the way bored the hell out of me. The best sports movies are the ones that are original. Not the re-makes typically of what happened before. You know what's going to happen, you know who said what because you've seen the play a million times, and for some reason it's not believable that an awkwardly un-athletic actor who admittedly wore a corrective boot is really an NBA PLAYER (i.e. Damon Wayans in "Celtic Pride."). I'll have to admit though that I'm a sucker either way it goes. Even if I don't like the movie I still ended up watching it at some point. It's like sleeping with that girl who you KNOW is nasty, but hey, you never know, she could be a classic.

5. High Definition TV
I want to tell a quick story. It's a story about a guy who was inside of a Circuit City in Tucson in 2005 while his wife's nephew got himself a new cell phone and in his boredom he turned around and saw the NFC Championship Game between the Falcons and the Eagles. There was something different about the TVs though. I saw the return man field a ball at the 10-yard line, but for some reason the field inside of the Georgia Dome looked absolutely CRYSTAL CLEAR. I could see the holes on the Falcons player’s jerseys. The lights were just bouncing off of the Eagles players' helmets. I asked the clerk why it was so clear and he said, "It's HDTV." From that point forward I made it my mission to find out what exactly HDTV was and how I could get it. I went to Best Buy that next weekend and saw some more examples of what HD was and how it would impact the sports world. I'm not one to get wrapped up in technical fads, but HDTV has literally changed the way we watch sports and I plopped down 1500 dollars for my first plasma television and I'm not sorry for it. I've seen 100s of Suns games in HD, all of the Cardinals games are in HD in addition to the Super Bowls, all of the NBA playoff games, SportsCenter, ESPN2, and the NCAA Basketball Tournament. It's made watching sports so much more fun because it almost feels like you're there. HD is just that much better than regular TV and the sports world caught on immediately.

6. LaDainian Tomlinson
I feel truly blessed that I've been able to witness the greatness that is L.T. I don't even like the Chargers, but how can you NOT root for this guy. He is simply the most flawless player to probably ever stop onto a football field. He literally can do it all. I have reason to believe if they put a head set on this guy he would end up out-smarting Bill Belichek all by himself. Did you know this guy has lost 10 fumbles his entire career? TEN FUMBLES!!!! And he's fumbled 24 times. In the hyper-competitive AFC and being the MVP of an explosive offense with a young quarterback this guy loses less fumbles than Dennis Miller jokes rock the house. By the way, he threw 2 touchdowns and rushed for 1800 yards and blew away the single season touchdown record set shortly before. Let's not forget that he's lightning fast. Strong as a bull. Serves as a personal wall for his quarterback. Has hands as soft as a stripper's ass. Plus he's a great teammate, stays out of the police lineup, he's humble, and is intense about winning (by that I mean he got up in the face of one of the Patriots players for messing with his team, talk about pride!). I understand how great Jim Brown and Joe Montana were, but I'm talking about the here and now. Right now L.T. is the best player, offensively or defensively, in the NFL right now. By the time he's done. He'll be at the top of this list.

7. Cultural Lines Can Be Blurred
I went to a fairly culturally and economically diverse high school. On the field however is when I noticed those differences the most and certainly cared the least. I'd look around my defensive huddle and realized that the other defensive tackle besides me was bi-racial and from a middle class family while I came from a single parent home in the drug-infested Maryvale area of Phoenix, one cornerback's dad was a school board member and the other lived in one of the more dangerous parts of the city. One of our linebackers was originally from Tonga while the other was as about as white as a sheet of paper. It didn't matter, we all wanted to win. Sports have a tendency to bridge that gap between people despite their race, gender, socioeconomic status, or political views. I've met many people whether it be through playing sports or watching them to where we had differing views of the world, earned a different income, had different ideas about race relations, and even were of a different sex, but we had that those few things in common: we hated the Lakers, the Cardinals need to get better now, the Spurs are boring, and hockey is unwatchable. I think it comes from the fact that once you start getting into matters outside of sports people tend to be un-informed and have different values and it can be frustrating. In sports, the values tend to be the same because everybody wants to just win baby.
8. Jerseys
Jerseys are one of the more ultimate ways to stay close to your team. I personally have dumped hundreds of dollars on jerseys of all sports including hockey, baseball, basketball, AND football. Some of them are downright embarrassing like my A.C. Green Phoenix Suns jersey or my Joey Harrington Detroit Lions jersey. The worst part is that I haven't even blinked an eye when purchasing. Jerseys give you that feel that some how, some way, you're giving your team the boost that they need. You're wearing their colors. Whether it is home or away you blend right in with the crowd. Jerseys mean so much we'll even wear them in front of the TV when no one even knows we're wearing it. It's the ultimate in fandom. There are limits though. You cannot, repeat CANNOT come to a game with your name on the back of the jersey. No one knows who wore number 43 and was named "Rojas" for the 49ers. It confuses us and as football fans confusion simply means beat down. Just be careful is all I'm saying.

9. Fight Songs
The Big Band era went out a very long time ago, but one place it's alive and well is in amateur sports. The fight songs for teams not only bring out the pride in the team, but in the fans, alumni, and coaches. The songs stand the test of time and after every major championship a team wins the fight song gets sung usually in a drunken, screaming, stumbling manner, but it's sung with conviction. Think about all of the fight songs you know. USC's, Ohio State's, Notre Dame's, or even your own high school's. The songs are original too unlike in pro sports. They don't have to repeat Queen's "We are the Champions" over and over again because they've thought of nothing original. The songs stand the test of time and although they may be corny and sometimes poorly written, ("hit 'em high, hit 'em low, go, go, go! for example) it's synonymous with the team.

10. SportsCenter
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duhhh. We all know the signature beat of one of the greatest sports shows in the history of American media. Ever since SportsCenter debuted 25 some-odd years ago it has easily been the most informative and entertaining newscast I've ever watched. Yes, I know SportsCenter has its downsides, but let's get real, they've got about 60 minutes to report on the world of sports and make it interesting. Discussing how someone made a great block in the third quarter for a 10-yard gain is as about as interesting as "Andy Richter Controls the Universe." My mom used to get upset that I would watch the show every morning before school, but I always told her that watching SportsCenter was like watching any other news show except they talked about sports. To be totally honest, some of my vocabulary came from listening to SportsCenter anchors put their thesauruses to great use. It's helped me write better papers in graduate school and actually SEEM remotely intelligent. Emphasis on SEEM. SportsCenter is a great show. Just compare it to your local sports report and see which one goes more in depth and seems to actually care. I remember one time when I was in Anaheim and Vlad Guerrero hit this BOMB out into right field and I almost caught it but the jerk in front of me snagged it. It didn't matter; I didn't turn to KTLA to see if I would get on TV, I turned to SportsCenter. I mean I ALMOST GOT ON SPORTS CENTER. That excitement is one of the reasons I love sports.
These are just 10 of the 10,000 reasons that I love sports. Trust me, there WILL be much more to come.

6 Reasons Why Baseball is Falling Off.....

Every night I used to dream of being a professional baseball player when I was a child. I had wild dreams about being the first baseman for the then-California Angels and knocking balls out of the park as I steam roll to glory. Well, okay, the Angels weren't that great, so let's say I dreamed about early July win streak glory. Nonetheless, baseball had my heart, my mind, and my attention. I worked hard at it every day, even to the point that I was the M.V.P. of my little league when I was 9 years old also appearing in the All-Star game (a regular Derek Jeter right?). Baseball is now lucky that I don't chuck the remote at the T.V. when I see a Reds-Pirates game in late August. I get so pissed off because I feel like baseball has forgotten about the fan altogether when fans are what helped build the league. Don't get me wrong, I still watch baseball and will go see a Diamondbacks game from time to time, but will you see me obsessed ever again? No. Now the six reasons why baseball is falling off....

1. Guaranteed Contracts
Let me get one thing straight, I don't have a problem with a player getting paid cash money baby. Let's not forget that although they're not doing something as noble as teaching, they're earning people hundreds of millions of dollars, entertaining millions of people, they hold the pride of the city, and we PAY TO SEE THEM. I don't pay to see teachers teach 8th grade math. However, the contracts of major leaguers are guaranteed. When you guarantee guys, at any age, millions of dollars for playing a game, they begin to not care. Hell, I'm doing this blog at work because I feel like I'm guaranteed to keep my job even if I get caught. By the way, I earn a very average salary. If I was paid 10 million dollars up frontto throw curveballs, I just might get lazy and buy a platinum rottweiler in between pitches.

2. Foreigners
I obviously don't mean this in a racist term because guys like Vladimir Guerrero, David Ortiz, and Pedro Martinez are the exact same skin tone as I and for those guys to play well and not be knuckleheads off the field does wonders for the image of our race despite the cultural differences. However, like I mentioned as one of the reasons that soccer has failed in the U.S. it's one of the reasons that baseball is struggling. I'll be honest though, foreign players have played baseball in America for DECADES, but as America continues to grow, especially with the hot-button issues of immigration (living in Phoenix it's doubly hot) lately Americans are having a hard time adjusting to guys like Luis Castillo who at one point were phenoms, but needed an interpreter to express "how great winning the World Series is." Let's not forget though that not only is there a ton of foreign born players, a lot of these guys are AWESOME. I've seen Vlad in person and not only is this guy one of the best ever he's a behemoth who whacked a grand slam into right field so hard the ball was shivering and asking who the bad man was. The best players in a sport in any country usually have an easier time if they resemble what most of the country looks like. Tom Brady is a star, but if he were in Rio de Janeiro he'd be that "funny looking white guy who does...some....ball....sport." In the words of Homer Simpson..."If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."

3. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I've got things to do. I've got two small children, a wife, I'm in graduate school, friends, work, and I'm a superhero in my spare time. I have no superpowers and I mostly save squirrels, but it still takes time. Baseball, for its pace, simply takes too long to attract new fans. We like things done yesterday here in America. We trash our old computers for faster ones, we want our cell phones to connect to the internet immediately, we want our news updated hourly, and we want SportsCenter updates every 10 minutes. Baseball is definitely the most throwback sport out of the four, but come on, unless you're there at the game and have great seats baseball literally reaches through the television and takes months off of your life. Speed up the game like I do in MVP Baseball 2005 and you'll end up playing a whole season in a week!

4. It's all about the Benjamins baby
Baseball is an arms race, literally and figuratively. I've added a link so you can see the amount of money some teams spend on their clubs compared to others. Frankly, it's bothersome. We're talking from the lowest payroll, Tampa Bay, to the top team in their OWN DIVISION, New York, a difference in close to $180 million dollars in salaries. That's a lot of cabbage. It seems like the worst teams aren't bad just because of poor management or performance, they just simply don't have the money to get good players and it lessens fairness in the sport. I would not watch baseball knowing damn well my team did not have a chance in hell to finish even 2nd in their own division year after year. Who wants to watch that? I've got an idea, maybe if Royals start paying teams in Rupees instead of dollars they can compete.

5. The fans and sports writers are obsessed with statistics
The last time I checked, sports weren’t solely about numbers. Numbers lie. Hell, 75% of know that statistics are right 34.3% of the time. This is where baseball begins to falter. The die-hards and the sports writers drool over statistics so much that it begins to determine how good a player was over the course of their career. I tried looking up statistics for baseball players just in terms of hitting and almost fell on the floor with what I saw (apparently you CAN have sex with a cow). After I put in the right URL I was still shocked at what I saw. There are statistics for outs, at bats per home run, caught stealing, intentional walks, sac flies, sac hits, hit by pitch, ops, RBI, home runs, runs created (what the hell is that), times on base, number of times nuts were scratched, hot dogs spilled, and grains of dirt. Compared to football, baseball has a million more ways to track every single play of every single everything it seems like. This has unfairly propelled some players like Craig Biggio into "Hall of Fame" status. Longevity does count when it comes to being elected to the Hall, but if your career cannot be summed up in one sentence, you simply don't be long. Craig Biggio falls into that, "well he finished first in games played in 2005 so he should be a Hall of Famer" cateogry. Puhlease.

6. Steroids
I don't believe steroids are the moral outrage some of the old timers are trying to make it. At worst, I think it's a shame that the sport has become about who has the best doctor and not the most talent. Nonetheless, baseball has been at the CENTER of a steroids scandal/investigation/media circus over the last four to five years and when a great player is about to break a hallowed record all anyone can talk about his the fact he was the center of a very good book called Game of Shadows. You didn't get this with Emmitt Smith breaking Sweetness' record, you didn't get this with Wayne Gretzky breaking records, and everyone embraced Michael Jordan breaking every playoff record possible.

There goes my childhood fascination, right out the window with any sense in baseball.

5 Rules for Divorcing your Team

I've been lucky enough to never hit this crossroad in my life. That time when you look at the relationship and realize over a period of years that it is no longer worth it to stay. They keep disappointing you. You no longer respect them. They have little regard for you as a person and frequently flaunt the fact that you've stayed with them in your face year after year. But that time has come....you're divorcing your team and there is no way out. Here are some rules to ease that transition (sniff).

5. You must be absolutely sure that your team is terrible
We've seen those teams. Some of them are just so bad that there seems like there is no way out of the hell they've created for themselves. Sometimes they're so bad you're almost laughing every time they do something stupid. Whether it be a bad trade, dropped fly ball, missed lay-up, or blown tackle it is all good comical fun to where you turn to your friends and say "Hahahaha, did you see Jones, he was totally REJECTED by the second round pick out of Southern Oregon, hold on, let me rewind that play!" If you've seen yourself doing this the relationship has been soured because you no longer feel the pain associated with those actions. Acknowledging the fact that your "defensive back couldn't tackle a small girl" and being okay with it means it's time to move on for good.

4. You have to understand that there is no going back once you've left
The hard part with divorcing your team is that there is no break-up sex. It's just a cold turkey, walk out of the door-type divorce that leaves you clutching your picture of Joey Harrington you bought his rookie year. These type of divorces are usually the hardest to sustain because you can't be tempted to go back if all of a sudden they are wearing new outfits, they're popular, they've bought a new house, and have young athletic guys that are a part of their new entourage. You can't get jealous. You cannot look back. They'll try and tell you that they've changed and they will promise to get better. They're really committed this time and they've even gotten rid of the people that influenced bad decisions. They've bought a new place and are offering you a place if you want it. They make you think you're REALLY going to miss something. You've heard this before, but no, they're not going to get better, they're just going to continue to bend you over, take your wallet, and leave you sore where the sun doesn't shine.

3. You MUST get rid of all of the momentos
We've all got the stuff. The pictures, the memories, the pain, the good times, the initial courtship (Tampa Bay is getting a professional baseball team??!!) the outings, and in some cases even the championships (Boston Bruins, 1972 champs baby!!). But all of that stuff must fade to black. If the last time you celebrated with your significant other was over 30 years ago, the well has run dry and it's time to replenish. They don't care about you, the money you spend, the way you defend them when people acknowledge that they're no good, and the time you've spent chasing them around sometimes from city to city just to be by their side. They're interested in themselves and nobody else. You're a fly on the wall so you have to make the memories part of the garbage.

2. Just because you've left them, doesn't mean that you should go for the hottest thing around
So you've finally decided to divorce your team and you're in search of a new one. As one of my rules for sports fans states, "you cannot choose the most best team as your favorite team." It's blasphemous and a smack in the face to the people that are from that area or root for teams in that general area. Nobody made the Pirates suck, not even you, that doesn't mean that you can become a Yankees fan over night. By default, you've got to pick the closest team geographically to you as a rebound. Trust me, if you're leaving your team, the closest team will give you a new experience you've never felt before and hope can be renewed.

1. Understand that we've all felt your pain.... Every fan has felt it. That stinging blow that never goes away whether it be the decades of sucking or the quick moment of despair, here's a quick and painful reminder of what we've all gone through

-1988-Earnest Byner fumble

The Pittsburgh Pirates 1982-Present

-The Tampa Bay Devil Rays 1998-Present

-Steve Bartman

-The 2007 NBA Western Conference Semi-finals (grab my gun)

Buckner